I find that most of us get upset easily at home. We often ask, “Why can’t you/he/she just…?”
It seems that there are many reasons we can blame about our families. Perhaps it is the accumulation of our dissatisfaction over the individual differences. For instance, the parents cannot understand the youngsters’ bizarre online communication; while the “kids” may easily get bored with the older generations’ resistance to newness/change. For the husband/wife, sometimes the conflict can start over something small as a bad habit, or it is a big concern as the other’s overly obsessed at work.
Or the root of conflict can be one’s discontent over the unchangeable – the lack of good fortune, wealth, or power. I came across with a teenager’s disgruntlement towards his parents for not being able to provide him enough financial support for a “up to trend” lifestyle like his peers. He recalled his heated arguments with his parents on the extra pocket-money request for the branded clothing/ mobile-phones, until the daily conversation dropped to zero.
Perhaps we know for sure whose faults they are on the problems caused in the families, or it is not for us to judge. No matter how it reflects the inevitable truth, that a family is bound to contain flaws. Each of us is born imperfect, and so the family we build would not be perfect. There is no perfect family in this world, because there are no perfect persons who can create it.
And so building upon such understanding on the imperfect family, we are left with the choice – do we remain the blaming attitude, or we choose to change – let go, forgive, and accept?
Here is what I think:
1. There is no absolute harmony. But there is genuineness in all emotions.
No relationships can stay happy ever after. We do have struggles, disagreement and mistakes within self, and certainly in the family. Yet we can be certain of and secure the realness of us in our closest circles. No pretending. No faking.
2. There is no unconditional love. Yet there is acceptance to mistakes and wrong.
There is no perfect love. No one can selflessly love another person. We, the separate individuals, each hold our own hearts which naturally put ourselves first than anyone else. There are people we accept the negativity for, or there are some we cannot stand at. And for our family members, the people we connect the deepest physically and emotionally, become those we naturally choose to embrace.
2. There is no perfect family. But there is the real family.
And so it comes to the natural understanding that we can never belong to a perfect family, and the imperfect us cannot create one either. However, indeed such imperfectness of the family reflects the realness of what a family is. In difficulty, we grow stronger together. In the conflict, we learn to seek to understand. In disagreement, we learn to accept.
This, is Family.
#family #imperfect #inspirational #sharing #harmony #relationship #love #acceptance