Mistakes are inevitable in our relationships.
They are scary as they make us look bad. Embarrassed. Scared. Intimidated.
We visualize the bad outcomes – tantrum, blaming, cold war, and worse, breakup.
They make us want to avoid them. Run away from the person we have hurt, as we are afraid of the worse to come – rejection. Anger. Hate.
And things can be even worse when mistakes are repeated. People say “it’s ok to have mistakes. Just don’t do it again.” In reality we do make mistakes. And we do them again and again.
What is worse is no communication made after mistakes happen.
We want to avoid the hurt, but in the end the avoidance is the worst of hurt. No communication blocks the person from knowing what we are going through, and blocking from them expressing their feelings and knowing they are being heard.
No communication leads to further misunderstanding. How much the other person has felt and thought is unanswered. And that brings more questions and presumptions.
I often have to remind myself the greater cost of running away when I make mistakes. Despite not wanting the fear of being the stupid and ashamed person, I intend to choose the difficult path, as I know that it is the right thing not just for myself, but also for the other person.
It is the genuine concern for the others who are affected due to us.
It is the simple gesture showing we care even we do make mistakes.
It is the natural demonstration of our real selves, that we do make mistakes, and that is how we are.
And so we hope for acceptance no matter there is strong judgment of right/wrong.
That is the meaning of relationship, all built upon the fundamental ground of communication and interaction.
Indeed it is a self-challenge, and no one can guarantee a better outcome. Yet it is the lesson on rising via vulnerability. Being stronger via failure.
And just being real to self.
May we take a little step forward under the challenge.
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