When someone close to you pass away, nothing is the same anymore. This is some part of you which is forever gone. Sometimes even you may have predict its coming, it still does not make you feel much easier or lighter.
There are thousands of books and journals on how one cope with grief and bereavement. Like one of the most developed and used model: the “5 Stages of Loss/Grief”: 1. Denial and Isolation 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance. We may work out such recovery process, yet the scar is always there. The world is never the same, because such loss and grief is never what we have wanted in the first place. We are forced to accept what has abruptly occurred in our lives.
There can be thousands of variables affecting how someone goes through the grieving/bereavement process, like in terms of time, the particular right method, the suitable support…Yet the best methods do not apply if we lack the inner-power to move on. From the practitioner’s perspective, I do agree that many methods/therapies have proven to be effective and successful in helping one overcome the difficult process, yet even the most professional expert cannot guarantee a successful outcome for a grieving person after pinpointing the best solution.
On the other hand, there is one universal answer underpinned on our beliefs – Hope.
When there is life, there is hope; when there is hope, there is life.
And when there is love, there is hope; when there is hope, there is love.
It is the sense of hope which makes us believe in our love. Our love so powerful that it transcends the physicality of individuals to the forever marking within our hearts.
Our love is so strong that it transcends the termination of age and time, as the memories forever stay on our minds.
This belief in hope is simple and complex, and it is hard for us to explain its existence. Scientifically we can challenge its validity in illustrating its regulatory function and effectiveness. Yet outside the objective world it is a as simple as powerful thing. It is like a click of a switch – if you do not click it, light never comes. Yet when clicked, light sparks in the magically, miraculous way. It is so powerful that even our lives are never the same without the person, we gradually move forward and become a stronger and loving person.
I guess this is indeed what I hope to write about – aside the professional psychological perspective, I, regardless a counseling psychologist or not, am the same as the rest of the people who also rely on taking in inspirations from the daily common themes – certainly hope is a familiar, simple yet powerful thing among everyone of us. Often one’s successful recovery is not just dependent on the best professional support, but also the things we all can see and relate to.
Under grief and loss, may we be bit more aware of the hope around us – it turns to our inner hope. Along the recovering process, we are no longer afraid of being lost and trapped by finding the right grieving method.
As long as there is hope.
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