Life is always full of surprises.
Just when you are certain about everything, the occurring weird things silently sneak up on you and pull you out of the comfort zone.
1 hour before departure time, I was detained by the border security as the alarm was triggered off as I passed the security gate. I was asked to scan my body for the whole 6 times and all results came positive in reaction to the ETD, named as Explosive Trace Detector. In the first few minutes, I did not bother about the whole situation and waited impatiently. Then I became slight concerned as the security manager came over and began filling the ETD form. I was fully alarmed as I was told to stay at the place with all my luggage taken away for inspection, and the manager changed from talking on the phone with a person to approaching the policemen who were stationed at the airport. All this happened without much detail revealed to me.
Should I be concerned and anxious?
Will I be suspected and detained for longer due to the so called scientific valid chemical tests they conducted on me?
Am my clearance of innocence based on these results and not the actual fact that I have done nothing?
More importantly, can my belief in my innocence prolong as I am further suspected – does my voice matter?
All these questions ran through my head as I stood alone and witnessed all the staff proceeded protocol in tension around me.
For the first time I was suspected for something I did not commit or be involved in at all, I felt vulnerable and out of control. In daily time when we go over the news nowadays and look at the faces exposed by the media, we go,
‘so that is what a terrorist looks like.’ Until now I am personally questioned and my innocence is purely judged by the superficial scientific tests and the criminal expertise’s call to determine whether to ‘let me go’, I realize how much disturst, defense, and fear has thin-sliced human trust on one another. All I can say is to repeatedly provide my personal information and let them judge me in every angle.
As the police officer declared my innocence, and the security staff who tested my positive results came over to inform me I could leave anytime from now then, I left the area without receiving any apology or warm words. I think what bothered me was how much I have been affected after the minimized and dehumanized interactions. On one hand, I understand how professional the staff have to act in response to any suspected case, and any sympathy or emotions should not be exhibited as ‘anything can happen’. On the other hand, I am sad to realize the inevitable distrust and human distance caused by such causes of reality. One can be so vulnerable and helpless in face of terrorism and threat. What once defined as unjust and dehumanizing, these human values and beliefs on respect and individual rights can be disregarded as the so called national security and defense is pushed to top priority.
Now sitting in the Berlin accommodation room, this previous incident seems far away and insignificant. On the other hand,
“Only those who have personally experienced the incident then they know what the actual described feelings are.”
I have become one of those people.
And I hope to validate and recognize this feeling.
No matter big or small, this kind of experience do change people and make we question human trust, no matter whether we are aware of our change or not.
I believe It is important we learn how to face our awareness when we do become aware.
Upon this moment I am relieved from the event, and I reckon the thinking process helps my liberation from the pressure of being under the ‘inevitable’ restrain. When life circumstances occur, we do act differently to cope. Yet what is always the same is that we can never change the reality. We only learn to find the way to come in terms with it. And whether things remain the same in the end, or whether we declare the change of reality, I believe that our voice matter. Our beliefs matter. We matter.
Before I end the sharing, the thought of ‘today is the Easter day’ comes to my mind. I am amused by my thinking as I realize how the whole festival is based on the Christian religion declaring the Christ has been raised from the death on the third day. A day marked by the religious belief. A religion built upon faith.
A dramatic start of the journey, a worth reflecting experience.
I look forward to the next day’s journey.
#life #sharing #travel #journey #criminal #security #reflection #psychology #emotion #experience